Remember the Desert

It has been a couple of months now since I have written anything here.  During this time, a lot of "life" has happened.  After moving from Texas back to Kansas - which is where my husband and I are both from - we helped our three boys enroll in a new school, watched them go through the process of making new friends, Steve started a new job, I adjusted to only having one child at home during the day, we watched my uncle lose a year long battle with cancer, searched for a new home church, and struggled with a few other obstacles too personal to share here.  Yet through it all, God remained faithful and we learned as a family to lean on Him a little more each day.

We are slowly but surely finally coming out of our desert experience, but many harsh realities and reminders still continue to linger.  My biggest realization, however, is that I never want to forget.  I want - and need - to always remember the desert.  Without understanding how bad things really were during that time, I would not understand or appreciate how much God really brought us through.

I pray daily that God will not only remind me, but also my family, that He is the only reason we have been able to enter into a new season in our lives.  He is the one that brought us through the darkness, and He is the one that continues to deliver us daily from going back to that terrible place.  Although there are still daily struggles with which we must contend, this is merely a result of us living in a fallen world.  I know that God will continue to allow things to happen to us whenever He wants to teach us something new, but regardless of what happens, "I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you [me] will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ." ~ Philippians 1:6

Trusting God...

This seems to be such a difficult concept for me to comprehend.  In my last post I talked about how trusting God is not the same as having faith in Him.  For most of us, believing that God exists is the easy part.  Yet trust somehow seems to elude me.  It is so easy for me to trust that God will deliver someone else from their circumstances, yet when it comes to my own situations I allow my insecurities to rule and steal away any joy that complete trust would afford me.  I am beginning to learn that I need to break this down into simple steps that I can not only understand but also allow myself to follow.

First and foremost, I must remain steadfast in God's Word and in His presence.  Unfortunately, this is a lot easier said than done.  As a stay-at-home mom of four - at which time this is also currently summer break - "quiet time" seems to be a mere illusion.  I have discovered that if I want to spend time with God, I must be deliberate in making time for Him.  He is always ready and willing to meet me whenever and wherever, but I must take the initiative.  Whenever I do make the time to spend with Him, I am always reprimanding myself for not doing it more often.  Immediately His Holy Spirit pours over me and I receive a gift of refreshment and renewal.  Oh the sweetness!! 

Although I may not have the luxury of spending as much quantitative time with Him as I would like (unless of course I would make myself get up earlier each day), I make sure that the time I do give Him is quality time.  I am learning to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  As I go about my day, regardless of what I may be doing, I simply have an ongoing dialogue with God.  It's okay to talk to God while I am doing the dishes, folding the laundry, or even changing a diaper.  I just need to keep reminding myself to do a lot less speaking and a lot more listening.

I am also learning to be extremely cautious as to whom I let fill my head and heart with counsel.  With so many well-meaning people, advice comes in droves.  Everyone seems to have an opinion.  Although most have pure intentions, it is only Godly wisdom for which I am looking.  "For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; So that he does not forsake the fear of the Almighty." (Job 6:14).

We were created to worship our Heavenly Father, to praise His name in loving adoration.  When we get down and out, our first instinct is to grumble and complain.  That is when we need God the most!  Yet sadly, it is during these times that we feel the least like praising.  If I am to turn to my friend and say, "I am really struggling right now", I want someone that is going to say, "Let's pray".  Then we drop everything then and there and we do it.  In turn, I also want to be that kind of friend.  Sure, it is easy to say, "I will be praying for you", or "You are in my prayers".  And yes, while this may be true, why not pray right now?!  We should always be seeking God's wisdom and encouragement, not only for ourselves but also for one another.  He is the only way that we are going to get through our times of desperation and struggles that become too unbearable for us to carry alone.  He tells us that He wants us to come to Him!  Sadly, He is oftentimes the last place we turn instead of the first.

We become so angry with God for allowing certain situations to happen to us.  We question everything from "Why"? to "How long will this last"? to "Do You even care about me"?  We rationalize that He must not really care or He would not have allowed these things to happen.  Yet we do not stop to think that maybe He allowed these things to happen because He does love us so much.  Whatever His reasons, we will not fully understand them this side of Heaven.  We cannot comprehend His reasons, nor His love for us.  Which brings us back full circle - We must unconditionally TRUST HIM.

Heavenly Father, please teach me to trust You.  Show me, Lord, everyday what that looks like.  Help me, Father during my times of doubt and unbelief.  Do not leave me in this mess in which You have found me.  Pull me out of this miry clay and mold me into the person You want me to become.  I want to be a person that reflects You and Your love for others.  I want to be a person that trusts You with her whole heart and does not doubt Your love.  Father, I confess to You my fears and uncertainties.  Please meet me right where I am and do not tarry another moment.  Father God, no matter what the outcome of my current situation, I choose You.  From the depths of my soul I cry out to You.  I want to go deeper - to the next level - but I know that takes walking through the fire.  Carry me, Lord, through the flames.  Burn off my disbelief and my confusion.  Father I ask You to create in me a hunger and thirst for You that is never satisfied.  I want You to be my all-consuming passion.  I don't want to live another moment in my limited understanding or beliefs.  I want You to teach me Your ways, Father.  Teach me to walk in them, teach me to live by them.  Whatever You have for me, Lord, I want - whatever the cost.  Thank you Father for never giving up on me.  Thank you for loving me so completely and so unconditionally.  Thank you for calling me friend.  Amen.

Faith vs. Trust

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen."  Hebrews 11:1

Ask most people if they believe in God and they will tell you yes, they have faith that God exists.  Some will even tell you that they have a personal relationship with Him and that they talk to Him on a regular basis.  Through reading the Bible and through prayer, they will say that they can hear God's voice and know what He wants for their lives.

Now, take those same people and ask them if they trust God. Again, without hesitation, most would tell you yes.  Now ask them what trusting God means.  Not many can define trusting God so easily.  What does it really mean to trust Him?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5

The Hebrew word for "Trust" in this verse is: ba ̂t ̣ach  (baw-takh'), which means to be bold, confident, secure, sure.

Bold?  Confident?  Secure?  Sure?  Really?  Did I read that right?  Did it really say Secure?  Ironically, those of us that say we trust God do not usually feel very bold...confident...secure...sure.  If we did, not only our attitudes but also our actions would be completely different.

I have recently been confronted with this unsettling reality myself.  Circumstances in life have been excruciatingly painful, yet I keep saying that I trust the Lord to take care of me.  I have said it so many times, in fact, that I actually start to believe it.  Sadly, however, my actions prove my words to be nothing more than idle talk.  You see, if I truly trusted Him, I would not need to question every choice He makes, because honestly the reasons would not matter.  God does not have to justify Himself to me.  And most of the time His answers would probably not make a lot of sense to me anyway.  Then what?  I stand in judgment of Him and why He has allowed certain things to happen?  That is one thing I can say boldly, confidently, securely, and with all assurance - I do not want to ever be in that position!!  Yet sadly, that is exactly where my actions place me.  I am continually asking God why He has not only allowed these things to happen, but more importantly why they continue to linger and cause so much hurt and pain.

"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD.  'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'"  Isaiah 55:8-9

If I truly trusted Him, I would not allow depression to sweep over me so easily and take control of my entire being.  When depressed, I become rather dysfunctional, much to the detriment of my husband and my children.  It is during these times that I am learning to claim the truths I have found in Psalm 42 & 43.  I encourage you to look these verses up and study them.  Pray over them and ask God to give you wisdom and revelation as He speaks to you through His Word.  There are only sixteen verses between the two chapters, but so much truth and promise rests inside of them.

After you have studied them, I would love to hear back from you.  I would love to hear how our Lord is teaching each of us through sharing with one another.  "As iron sharpens iron", I encourage you to sharpen me with your insights.  I cannot wait to hear what truths God has for us as we dig into His Word together...

Finding Favor

We look around us and see a world filled with violence and corruption.  We question the morality and integrity of our leaders.  We sometimes wonder how much worse could things really get.  Then we are left to look in the mirror - to question our own beliefs and values.  We are left to decide if we are going to let the world influence us, or if we will try to become an influence on our world.

Noah walked in days of great strife and destruction.  All around him people were making immoral choices, living only for self and self-gratification.  With no regards to consequences or caring about anyone else, they went on living without a care in the world.  Yet despite the grand illusions of contentment and happiness of those around him, Noah chose to live his life for the Lord.  Yes, he stilled sinned.  Scripture is very clear that Jesus was the only perfect man to ever walk the face of the earth.  Yet above all Noah chose righteousness.  You can rest assured he was given ample opportunity to turn away from God and blaze his own path.  Life could not have been easy for him. Social pressures were great, and his flesh was weak.  Yet he still chose truth.  It was because of his choices that “Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.”  God chose to spare not only his life, but also the lives of his family.  Because of his obedience, Noah would become a history maker.  Although fame was probably not his motivator, it certainly became his legacy. 

"But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD...Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God."  Genesis 6:8-9

Scripture records many other people who found favor as well.  Joseph found favor in the sight of Potiphar.  Moses found favor in the sight of the Lord.  Ruth found favor in the sight of Boaz.  David found favor in the sight of his father Jesse, his friend Jonathan, and in Achish, son of Maoch, the king of Gath.  Esther found favor in the sight of Hegai, the king’s eunuch.  These are just some of the recordings Scriptures shows us of people finding favor with someone else.

So what about you?  What will you do to find favor with God Almighty?  He does not ask that much of us, really.  When asked by one of the scribes what commandment is the foremost of all, Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might, and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30).  It is my goal to live this commandment out daily.  I cannot wait until the day I see Him face to face and to hear Him say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

I want to encourage you to choose today to walk in God's favor.  Choose to follow Him daily, letting Him guide all of your decisions.  He never promised we'd only see sunshine, but He did promise to never leave us.  Choose to be an influence to those around you, encouraging others to always lean on God as opposed to their own understanding.  There are a lot of things God simply does not want us to know this side of Heaven.  Although that is often hard for us to comprehend, trust that He really does know what He is doing.  After all, if it wasn't for Him, we would not even exist to ask such questions!!

Father, please teach me to walk in Your ways.  Help me Father to learn to lean more on You and less on myself.  Forgive me Father when I put myself in Your shoes, trying to walk out my life.  It is truly during those times that I stumble and fall, learning once again that this sinner is only saved by Your grace.  Father, please pour out your favor upon my life so abundantly that when others look at me they only see You.  Thank you for loving me, Lord, and thank you for Your many blessings.  Amen. 

Jeremiah's Prayer

"Righteous are You, O LORD, that I would plead my case with You; indeed I would discuss matters of justice with You: Why has the way of the wicked prospered?  Why are all those who deal in treachery at ease?  You have planted them, they have also taken root; They grow, they have even produced fruit.  You are near to their lips but far from their mind.  But You know me, O LORD; You see me; And You examine my heart's attitude toward You.  Drag them off like sheep for the slaughter and set them apart for a day of carnage!  How long is the land to mourn and the vegetation of the countryside to wither?  For the wickedness of those who dwell in it, animals and birds have been snatched away, because men have said, 'He will not see our latter ending.'  If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses"  If you fall down in a land of peace, how will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?"  Jeremiah 12:1-5

WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT:
You have been with the footmen, and have kept the horses out till this point.  You can't keep out the horses - but you can steer them in the right direction.  You can't keep them out - but you can get a reign on them.  You can steer them where Jesus tells you He wants them to go.  AS YOU TAKE YOUR AUTHORITY AND DOMINION - AND REIGN OVER THE HORSES - THEY WILL NOT TREAD OVER YOUR LAND.  You can't let them run you down or run you over.  I am speaking to Spirit-filled believers: Govern what God has put in your hands - not just in the natural - but in the Spirit.  If God has given you strength in the Spirit, then you need to start executing it and using it.  Biding and loosing.  Exercise your authority!!

Why Blog?

By definition, a blog is a "frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and web links".  With so many people blogging, what is the benefit of adding another?  Some may argue there is no benefit, just another person with an inflated ego trying to make their mark on the world wide web.  Others may argue there is great benefit, as we can all learn from one another's thoughts, trials and triumphs.  Whatever your opinion, this bog is being created to get us all thinking and hopefully interacting with one another and ultimately growing in spirit and in truth. 

I by no means have all of the answers, nor do I pretend otherwise.  I do, however, know The One that does hold all truth in His hand.  It is my hope and prayer that God be glorified in all that is said here.  As we seek to know Him more intimately and learn to grow deeper, I pray that He reveals something to each of us to help us become who He has created us to be.