I cry out from the depths of my soul, yet feel like my calls go unanswered. Why can’t anyone hear me? Why can’t anyone see my pain? Why am I all alone? Maybe I am not looking in the right places…
I’m gonna go visit my friend up the street. She is one of the most spiritual people I have ever met in my life!! Surely if I just hang out with her, then God will have to notice me too. I begin to spend every waking minute with her and her family. I sit in during their family devotions and we share our meals together. Weeks pass, yet there doesn’t seem to be any changes in my current circumstances. God, I even went to church with her! Why am I still stuck in this same place?
Still feeling all alone, I make my way down the sidewalk and toward the park. The sun is shining today. God must be in a good mood. I look around at the sea of people, yet they are all strangers to me. No one can see me. They pass by me as if I am invisible. Am I supposed to just be okay with this? I reach out, begging for someone to notice me – yet it is to no avail. If they do listen, they do not hear me. If they do hear me, they do not care. “Hi, how are you?” Fine.” And then just move on.
God, are you here? Do you see me? I am looking for you, but I can’t seem to find you…
Back in the quietness of home, I hit my knees with my open Bible before me. Lord, you said that you would never leave me nor forsake me, yet here I am feeling all alone. No one ever calls me. No one ever comes to see me. I am always by myself. How is this the abundant life of which you spoke? Where is the joy that I see in the faces of others, yet always seems to allude me?
I sit quietly and begin to just listen. Several minutes pass, and although I have yet to hear anything tears begin to stream down my face. Without warning, I am sobbing uncontrollably. It makes me angry to feel so out of control, yet it feels so good too. I can’t seem to stop crying and I am not really sure that I want to right now. It is so refreshing! My shoulders begin to feel so much lighter. My anger begins to subside, and I suddenly realize I am no longer feeling completely alone. For the first time in a really long time, I feel hope. For the first time in a really long time, I feel peace.
I must learn to stop looking to someone else to discover the freedom that God has for me. The sooner we all learn this truth, the sooner we can walk the path that God has set before us. Let their walk be their walk – it was not meant for you! You have your own path on which to travel. When we start comparing ourselves to other people, our gaze is then horizontal instead of vertical. If you want to continue walking straight, you must keep your eyes upward. We must look to the Lord for our freedom. We must go to Him to find our way. We are all on this journey, but we each have our own path on which we must travel. There will be times when our paths may cross, but that will only be for a season. We will eventually go our own way, and that is okay. Sometimes our paths get bumpy and we run into several potholes. We have all heard the old adage “the grass is always greener on the other side”. The same is true for our life paths. There will be times when someone else’s path seems smooth. But what you cannot see is the giant rut that they were stuck in just a mile back! Don’t get caught up in the comparisons. The truth is we are all different, and we all have various trials through which we must travel. But when we look to God for our validation, He will never let us down. It is only in Him that we can truly find ourselves, our healing, and ultimately, our way in this world.
